Me at 13

I am assistant coaching our junior high volleyball team for the second time this year. We collect all the usual forms including the sports physical from each player. I normally don't look at them - just file them and move on.

Today I glanced at one as a mom handed it to me and a few words the doctor had written jumped off the page.

"would like to weigh less". 

I read them and my heart broke. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears as I felt what this girl is feeling.

I felt that those few words spoke volumes about how she really sees herself.

I wanted to run over to her, grab her in a hug and tell her she is beautiful, she is perfect and there is no mistake in her. She has been given a strong, healthy body. (and she's tiny, not an ounce of fat on her)

And you see, I can relate to her. We moved to a new school when I was in 3rd grade. I read my journal from that time recently. I wrote about how lonely I was and I thought that I should go on a diet and then I'd make friends. I was 9.

Then we moved again when I was in 7th grade. I was so lonely. Some boys called me Ethiopian because I was so thin. I had terrible self esteem and no matter how well I did at school or sports, it didn't change what I really felt inside. Maybe if I look right, dress right, eat right - then they will like me....

And do you know what I realized as I grieved for this young woman? I don't feel like that any more. I am 37 years old and I am finally saying good-bye to that girl. I love her, she is part of me, but I am learning to love this body I was given.

This body of mine is strong.

I am enough; just as God created me.

This body grew three amazing human beings.

And I can run.

If you know a young teen, please, please tell her she's perfect. Just as she is.

Morning Run

We are beginning to have little tastes of fall. This morning was 64 when I left the house. I know we'll jump back to those hot/humid days but today was just perfect. In the midst of the sunrise I was greeted with a perfectly placed rainbow. It just doesn't get better than that. 

RRCA training this Weekend!

This weekend I am heading north to Minnesota to attend a RRCA certification course. This is exciting for a number of reasons:

*learning to coach others = awesome

*No family responsibilities for 3 days

*A hotel room all.to.myself

*2 days with other running nerds

And the best part is I am going to see my dad's sister and family, whom I have not seen since his funeral 19 years ago. All in all, should be a very fun weekend.

However - I have no idea what to expect the class to be like and I am PETRIFIED of test taking. Of course you have to take a test after the course but somehow this never crossed my mind and now I'm paranoid that I will fail. I will probably have a few of those going-to-class-n*ked-and-forgetting-to- study-for-the-final-until-the-day-of-the-test-dreams.

For those of you who have completed the training, are you glad you did it?

How hard is the test, really? :)

Any of you other bloggers attending this one?