Thursday, August 18, 2011

Me at 13

I am assistant coaching our junior high volleyball team for the second time this year. We collect all the usual forms including the sports physical from each player. I normally don't look at them - just file them and move on.

Today I glanced at one as a mom handed it to me and a few words the doctor had written jumped off the page.

"would like to weigh less". 

I read them and my heart broke. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears as I felt what this girl is feeling.

I felt that those few words spoke volumes about how she really sees herself.

I wanted to run over to her, grab her in a hug and tell her she is beautiful, she is perfect and there is no mistake in her. She has been given a strong, healthy body. (and she's tiny, not an ounce of fat on her)

And you see, I can relate to her. We moved to a new school when I was in 3rd grade. I read my journal from that time recently. I wrote about how lonely I was and I thought that I should go on a diet and then I'd make friends. I was 9.

Then we moved again when I was in 7th grade. I was so lonely. Some boys called me Ethiopian because I was so thin. I had terrible self esteem and no matter how well I did at school or sports, it didn't change what I really felt inside. Maybe if I look right, dress right, eat right - then they will like me....

And do you know what I realized as I grieved for this young woman? I don't feel like that any more. I am 37 years old and I am finally saying good-bye to that girl. I love her, she is part of me, but I am learning to love this body I was given.

This body of mine is strong.

I am enough; just as God created me.

This body grew three amazing human beings.

And I can run.

If you know a young teen, please, please tell her she's perfect. Just as she is.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Morning Run

We are beginning to have little tastes of fall. This morning was 64 when I left the house. I know we'll jump back to those hot/humid days but today was just perfect. In the midst of the sunrise I was greeted with a perfectly placed rainbow. It just doesn't get better than that. 

Thursday, August 4, 2011

RRCA training this Weekend!

This weekend I am heading north to Minnesota to attend a RRCA certification course. This is exciting for a number of reasons:
*learning to coach others = awesome
*No family responsibilities for 3 days
*A hotel room
*2 days with other running nerds

And the best part is I am going to see my dad's sister and family, whom I have not seen since his funeral 19 years ago. All in all, should be a very fun weekend.

However - I have no idea what to expect the class to be like and I am PETRIFIED of test taking. Of course you have to take a test after the course but somehow this never crossed my mind and now I'm paranoid that I will fail. I will probably have a few of those going-to-class-n*ked-and-forgetting-to- study-for-the-final-until-the-day-of-the-test-dreams.

For those of you who have completed the training, are you glad you did it?

How hard is the test, really? :)

Any of you other bloggers attending this one?