Me at 13

I am assistant coaching our junior high volleyball team for the second time this year. We collect all the usual forms including the sports physical from each player. I normally don't look at them - just file them and move on.

Today I glanced at one as a mom handed it to me and a few words the doctor had written jumped off the page.

"would like to weigh less". 

I read them and my heart broke. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears as I felt what this girl is feeling.

I felt that those few words spoke volumes about how she really sees herself.

I wanted to run over to her, grab her in a hug and tell her she is beautiful, she is perfect and there is no mistake in her. She has been given a strong, healthy body. (and she's tiny, not an ounce of fat on her)

And you see, I can relate to her. We moved to a new school when I was in 3rd grade. I read my journal from that time recently. I wrote about how lonely I was and I thought that I should go on a diet and then I'd make friends. I was 9.

Then we moved again when I was in 7th grade. I was so lonely. Some boys called me Ethiopian because I was so thin. I had terrible self esteem and no matter how well I did at school or sports, it didn't change what I really felt inside. Maybe if I look right, dress right, eat right - then they will like me....

And do you know what I realized as I grieved for this young woman? I don't feel like that any more. I am 37 years old and I am finally saying good-bye to that girl. I love her, she is part of me, but I am learning to love this body I was given.

This body of mine is strong.

I am enough; just as God created me.

This body grew three amazing human beings.

And I can run.

If you know a young teen, please, please tell her she's perfect. Just as she is.

Morning Run

We are beginning to have little tastes of fall. This morning was 64 when I left the house. I know we'll jump back to those hot/humid days but today was just perfect. In the midst of the sunrise I was greeted with a perfectly placed rainbow. It just doesn't get better than that. 

RRCA training this Weekend!

This weekend I am heading north to Minnesota to attend a RRCA certification course. This is exciting for a number of reasons:

*learning to coach others = awesome

*No family responsibilities for 3 days

*A hotel room all.to.myself

*2 days with other running nerds

And the best part is I am going to see my dad's sister and family, whom I have not seen since his funeral 19 years ago. All in all, should be a very fun weekend.

However - I have no idea what to expect the class to be like and I am PETRIFIED of test taking. Of course you have to take a test after the course but somehow this never crossed my mind and now I'm paranoid that I will fail. I will probably have a few of those going-to-class-n*ked-and-forgetting-to- study-for-the-final-until-the-day-of-the-test-dreams.

For those of you who have completed the training, are you glad you did it?

How hard is the test, really? :)

Any of you other bloggers attending this one?

Live Out Loud - Ink & Changes

A little over a year ago I took an inventory of myself and decided it was time to reclaim my life. For 12 years I had been doing everything "right". Trying to run a business, be a mom, a wife and friend.

And I was dead inside. I had been making jewelry for 6 years at that point and finally had hired help. With the additional help I was able to breathe again.

During my kids' VBS week I decided to start running again after a 2 year break. And I wanted to train the way I've always dreamed about. I joined Weight Watchers and learned how to eat a reasonable amount of food in a day and finally lose the baby weight from my 8 year old "baby". I stopped filling myself with food and began to nourish my soul - and find ME again.

Those first few weeks I was happy to complete 2.5 miles. I would feel so good after and as the weight dropped off I was able to go longer and after a few months faster.

And then my world fell apart. I'll spare you the gory details but I cracked; my walls crumbled and through it all I ran.

Through all those miles the layers began to peel away. I sweated out my fears and anxiety - many miles I wept through but new dreams began to form. And old dreams reappeared and became attainable.

Sporty Girl Jewelry was born after several years as only www.hipmomjewelry.com. In February I had the opportunity to go to Africa to teach single moms a viable trade in jewelry making. Seeds were planted began to form new growth in my soul.

As I awoke from that 12 year hibernation I realized I no longer wanted to merely exist - but to live all out. So my year has been a little frenetic...

26.2? You bet. Go to Africa? Sure! A new tattoo? Why not?

And that brings me to the biggest news of all - Sporty Girl Jewelry and Hip Mom Jewelry have found a home together - in a real brick & mortar storefront. We officially opened for business yesterday. It is definitely a dream come true to have my own little piece of retail space. So if you are ever in Lawrence, KS, stop in and say howdy-do at Studio 163. 

What do you think of the new Live Out Loud & Free Charms? They will be added to the site in a couple days.

Has running or another sport helped you through hard times?

Has it helped you find courage for bold steps in life?

Today's Ride by the Numbers - & Animals

I can't help it -I'm the daughter of a farmer and a huge animal lover. Even though my kids are 13, 11 and 8 I still mentally point out every living thing I see. Everywhere.

Friends who ride or run with me quickly discover this trait as I'm pointing out every robin and bunny we see. Mentally I tally animals as I go along my routes and today was a pretty good day.

2 - Bunnies

6 - geese

1 - snapping turtle

1 - turkey

1 - duck

My favorite by far was the turkey and the duck. When I passed them they were sitting next to each other and chattering. The turkey vamoosed when I turned around to take their photo but they were so cute I couldn't resist.

Oh wait, that's not a praying mantis - that's me! Ha

So grateful for the chance to experience the sunrise and God's beautiful creation this morning.

Do you have any rides or runs planned this weekend?